What has become harder for me in the last year?

Healthy aging and independent living start with private, honest self-reflection. Before any family meeting, sit somewhere quiet and ask yourself what feels different in the last twelve months — and reframe "Can I still do this?" as "Should I still be doing this alone?"

Is my home still set up for how my body works today?

Over 90% of older adults want to age in place at home — but the house you've lived in for decades was designed for a younger version of you. A home safety assessment turns invisible fall risks into simple, low-cost fixes that protect your independence.

Am I managing my medications correctly and consistently?

Medication management is a systems issue, not a character issue. As prescriptions stack up, doses change, and timing matters more, even capable adults can lose track. The goal is a simple, reliable system — pill organizers, blister packs, reminders, and a periodic review — set up before a mistake forces the conversation.

Am I still managing my household responsibilities independently?

The Answer

The physical space is not the only limitation on aging in place. A home is a lot of responsibility — physically and financially. Maintaining a household requires physical strength, executive functioning, organization, financial management, and sustained energy. Groceries must be purchased and carried. Meals must be prepared. Bathrooms must be cleaned. Repairs must be coordinated. Bills must be paid on time. Technology must be navigated. Which of these feel manageable today? Which feel exhausting? Which would quickly become unsafe if your balance or cognition declined even slightly? **The honest questions to ask yourself.** Think through your week. Are there tasks you have quietly stopped doing? Repairs you have deferred? Meals that have gotten simpler not by choice but because the full version feels like too much? There is no shame in any of this. But there is value in naming it. And here is the deeper question: if you could not safely perform one of these tasks tomorrow, what would your plan be? Would you hire help? Accept help from family? Modify the home? Move before crisis forces the decision? Planning from strength is vastly different from planning from fear.

What This Looks Like in Real Life

**How to raise the question with your loved ones.** "I'm thinking ahead about what it takes to manage this house long term. I don't want anyone scrambling if something changes. Can we talk about what might need adjusting over time?" This kind of proactive conversation is a gift to the people who love you. It tells them you are thinking clearly, planning intentionally, and that you trust them with the honest version of how things are going. **How loved ones can raise the conversation.** Begin with observation, not accusation. Name something specific you have noticed, then ask an open question rather than offering a conclusion. "I've noticed the basement stairs are steep and the laundry feels heavy. How are you feeling about that? Can we think together about ways to make it easier?" Avoid framing it as a problem to be solved. Position it as something you are thinking through together. The goal is not to take over. The goal is to stay ahead of a crisis neither of you wants.

What to Do Next

Make a real list of every recurring household responsibility — groceries, meals, laundry, cleaning, yardwork, bills, repairs, tech, insurance, taxes, medication refills. Don't filter; write it all down.

Mark each task: green (still easy), yellow (manageable but tiring), red (avoiding, deferring, or quietly handing off). The yellow and red lists are where planning actually happens.

For each red item, write one sentence: "If I couldn't do this tomorrow, my plan is ___." If you can't finish the sentence, that's the next conversation to have.

Pick one task this month to hand off proactively — meal delivery, a monthly housekeeper, automatic bill pay, a handyman on retainer, a yard service. Trading a task for time and safety is not a loss of independence.

If you are the older adult, open the conversation from strength: "I'm thinking ahead about what it takes to manage this house long term. Can we talk about what might need adjusting over time?" If you are the family member, lead with a specific observation: "I've noticed the laundry feels heavy lately — how are you feeling about that?"

Am I still managing my household responsibilities independently?

The Answer

What This Looks Like in Real Life

What to Do Next

Sources & references

You've got the cards. The book goes deeper.

Turn this question into your own plan.