When Healthcare Professionals Feel Lost in Senior Care with Gina Gordon — Full Episode Transcript

Say everything's you know just fine until it's not. Don't be paralyzed today in making a decision of what you need today because you're worried about five years down the road.

When caregiving feels overwhelming and the system feels impossible to navigate, this is your guide. Here, you'll learn ways to navigate long-term care planning, find real support for caregiving, and prepare you for the road ahead. I'm your host, Lindsay Friedman, and now you're not in this alone. Let's get started. Hello and welcome back to LTCareNav's Care Compass. We're really excited to be here today with Gina Gordon of CarePatrol of Winston-Salem. Gina is a 30-year veteran in the healthcare space. She is a registered nurse. She's a senior care advisor, certified senior advisor. And we today are gonna have a conversation about all the things that she has learned and experienced in her 30 years. So welcome, Gina.

Thank you, Lindsay. Happy to be here.

So kick it off with kind of the same questions every time. So one, who are you? What do you do? And most importantly, especially for this senior care space, why do you do it? What's your why?

Yeah, perfect. Again, thank you so much for the opportunity to be here. So about me, yes, I am owner along with my husband of CarePatrol of Winston-Salem. I think I like to also share that I'm a wife, I'm a mom, I'm a grandmother. I'm a daughter, I'm a sister, and I think those are important things to point out because of what we do as CarePatrol and certified senior advisors. It's important that we connect with our clients and that we connect from all of the different perspectives and just as humans, you know, all of those roles are so important and to understand that connection. So I work together with families, helping them navigate through this really interesting space of senior care.

And yes, I come from healthcare. And I think that 30 year background definitely I feel it every day and enjoy being able to incorporate my experiences in with helping through this navigating process.

And I know we'll talk in a lot more detail about all that's associated with that, but why this is important for my husband and I, this is a very intentional move for us from a career standpoint. This is our second careers. We both come from 30 plus years in a prior space. And so, you know, as a daughter of aging parents, I've lost a parent to dementia. This is very impactful to be able to provide this very nurturing support for families during a very vulnerable time. So it's personal as well as professional.

And I think that is so important, finding that personal connection. Are you okay sharing a little bit about what your experience dealing with dementia really kind of brought, helped you bring to the plate?

Yeah, I'm happy to. Happy to. My dad was a pharmacist. He was a very skilled, intelligent man, had an almost 40-year career in pharmacy, partnered with another gentleman to run a pharmacy for years. And started to notice changes in my dad, my mom, a nurse as well, and a phenomenal caregiver. And so together as a family, we did start to pick up on those changes. And what ended up being a 10-year journey with dementia certainly teaches you a lot as a caregiver, as a professional, and then just as a family member — watching a disease process that's really difficult to watch. My mom, Superwoman for sure, as a caregiver, she did — we were able to provide that care for him up until he passed away in September of 2024. So certainly, and honestly during that journey with my dad is when we made this decision to do a career change ourselves.

And I will say that that probably was a big reason that this resonated with me is just because you start to recognize how complicated this. You know, and I hope and I'm sure we'll discuss that a little bit, but it's a very difficult space to navigate. And I come from healthcare. You know, you think you have it, you think you kind of know what you need to know. And then when you all of a sudden have this personal experience with it, you recognize that you don't. And it certainly helps to have some guidance. And it wasn't just you, both you and your mom. You just have experience in this space. And you said you felt lost. So when you get families that are coming to you who don't have any healthcare space, what is their emotional state? How do you help them through it knowing that everything you knew still made you confused?

Yeah. Yeah. You know, I think it's just to say first, this highlights how important it is that we develop trust. And that people trust who we are in this role — that's very important for our families because, you know, you are talking about in some cases for many hours of the day having your loved one in the care of someone else when you're not present. And so I think that is probably that initial hurdle that's so hard for families to get over — how can I take that first step to where I'm going to separate myself from this person that I care for so dearly. And so I think to be able to step in and be the expert in the care options and be the expert in how to understand what care should look like and who can truly meet that care need, that is an important first step. I mean we can deal with all of the financial conversations and all the things that come with that. But it's that first very important relationship building part to our job that's so very important because families have to just be able to trust and to listen and be able to receive the guidance.

And I think we're really lucky to have organizations like CarePatrol where their corporate is making sure they're hiring these beautiful, wonderful people. I've had the opportunity to meet so many of you and you've all been so wonderful, including yourself and your husband. But, you know, even though we're saying that when you get into the room with someone, let's talk about somebody who's like, okay, I'm not ready to do this, but I know I need a change. How do you open that conversation with them when you've already established trust, but you know it's more of just guilt and fear and what does this look like? How do you take hold of that hand of the person?

Yeah, it's really important that we establish this is your decision, it's not mine. Right? But I'm here to help give you the tools that you need and the information that you need. And it's okay. You know, I think there's this power in allowing someone to think about, think through the options, think through the what ifs. And you remove some of the guilt and some of the pressure by just saying, we're not making a decision today. We're just talking about it today. And you've got the freedom and the permission to think about and to say whatever it is that you need to really think through in order to make this decision. And you hit a great point just around the guilt that often surrounds a loved one when they're trying to make this decision and trying to help strip that away just so that you can create a very objective space so that it's safe and, you know, it's removing some of that emotion and then we can think about it from a standpoint of safety, or a standpoint of your own well-being, or a standpoint of what really is the medical system saying right now you have to do just based off of the individual's care needs. And so those objective steps really help to clear the mind a bit of the burden of just being the person that's having to make this really difficult decision.

And you mentioned something that's kind of interesting. What the healthcare system says you have to do. Can you explain to families listening what does that actually mean? Because I don't think a lot of them are aware of what that encompasses.

Yeah, I mean, I wish I could tell you that the majority of the families that we work with are being very proactive and we're having a lot of conversations about planning and thinking ahead. But unfortunately many of our experiences with families is reactive. You know, they're already at a place where there's been a fall. There's been an event that's resulted in a hospitalization. And you're in a situation where a loved one's in the hospital or in a rehab and it's just not considered safe to go back home.

And I think that is a very difficult space to be in when you're having to make these big decisions and you're under a time crunch.

And so I think that is specifically what we're calling out here is, you know, you've got not only your personal struggle and some choices you need to make, but by the way, you've got the healthcare system saying you've got about four days or five days until discharge and we don't feel like it's safe for you to go home. And that adds a lot of pressure to a tough decision. And you're right. That's where I think a lot of families are right now is they wait till crisis mode and then they're forced into a decision. It feels like pressure.

And I mean, I know you guys have this really beautiful process when people do come to you in time and you lose the ability to really experience everything and see all your options. So can you tell us a little bit about the families that come in crisis? If you're there, you're here to help. But what are the benefits of coming to you earlier, even if it's just exploratory? And what's that difference look like for families?

Yeah. It's never too early is one thing that I do try to say to folks, because many times in a crisis situation, it's even the children who say, you know, by the way, when this is over, I want us to sit down and just talk about this in regards to us, as the children who are not in crisis. And that is perfect because there's never an opportunity that's too soon to talk about those what ifs. And I like to put it from that perspective of, what's your wishes? What would be important to you? You're living it right now with someone else. What would be important for you in this situation? Have you had this conversation with your loved ones to make sure that they're aware of what would be important for you and understanding the what-ifs. You know, we always say everything's just fine until it's not. And so being able to just be open and talk about those things that you really dread and hope never happen.

And it's easy to have those conversations when I can very comfortably say, you know what, we may never need this plan. May never use it, but it's gonna sure be good to have it and to where you know that you can reach out and we're here if and when the time were to come that you need a plan. Yeah, and that's kind of where we always stand is like you don't have to do it. Just 'cause you say if this happens, then I'm gonna do this doesn't mean this is gonna happen, right? But to be prepared for it. So if a family's coming to you early, can you explain to them, especially when it comes to where they may want to live, what that looks like, why having the decision ahead of time versus last minute? Like how many more options are available to them and what are you facing on choices, especially when it comes to assisted living, when you're trying to do it quickly?

Yeah. Well, I think it's just setting realistic expectations too. I mean, sometimes people have this vision — we'll start with sometimes they have a vision that's very negative and they're really scared to even consider something that they don't even know what they're scared of. And so I think just having those conversations early so that you have good expectations of, by the way, assisted living actually is a very pleasant environment. This is not at all what I expected, you know, just the action of going and looking and touring and seeing the care environment, washing away some of those preconceived notions that we many of us have from some experience 10, 15, 20 years ago. And so I think cleaning that up a little bit is really wise so that you're not scared of something you shouldn't be. The care level is a really important topic because families don't always understand that not all care communities are created equal. And so where you think geographically might make sense in terms of a location that you've felt like's close to your home and everybody else has always gone there if they need care. So therefore you feel like you're gonna follow in the same path. But your care needs may not be the best fit for that particular community. So having those really detailed conversations around —

You know, a conversation today when you don't need much help probably could make sense. But if this is a conversation down the road after some sort of a more serious event, then that may possibly not be a good care option. And so understanding sort of the dynamics of care needs and who can meet the different care needs, that's a really important concept for families to understand — that there's a lot of variation across the senior care space. I think that's why it's so important to have a local advisor. Somebody who can walk into the communities with you and say, this may have the most beautiful apartment, but you might have to leave, right? So is that something that you talk through with families? Like if someone is saying, okay, I need assisted living, do you say, okay, well, if you want here today, then we might have to reevaluate. And if that happens, can they come back to you and understand what something new would look like? Can you work them through like today, through the next 10, 15 years?

Of course. Yeah. I mean, you know, the needs today, and this is an important topic around not being paralyzed by thinking too far ahead. So this sounds like we're talking out of both sides of our mouth to say plan ahead, but don't plan too far ahead. I mean, you want to be prepared, but when you're trying to make decisions based off of care needs today, recognizing care level can increase or decrease. So what your care needs are today, let's say someone who maybe just suffered a pretty severe stroke, your care needs might be really, really high with the expectation that you might go back home at some point. And so understanding the needs of today and addressing those and sort of we say take it in about three month intervals, right? See how things progress and then make new decisions based off of how you're progressing. Well, the flip of that can be equally true from a financial standpoint or from a caregiving standpoint, so that you understand don't be paralyzed today in making a decision of what you need today because you're worried about five years down the road.

You know, we've had families who literally have just not made smart decisions today, safe decisions today, because they're worried about a financial situation that may or may not present itself in five or six years down the road. And so it's really difficult to navigate through that worry that can be paralyzing. So we're here to help with those three month interval decision making points so that you can do what's needed for today and then let's reevaluate and reassess as needed. So in essence, if somebody just makes a decision, goes to assisted living, and you stay in touch with them, you make sure everything is going well, you're kind of like their concierge from that day on.

Yeah. And as aligned care certified advisors, which is a really important and exciting part of who CarePatrol is, we are certainly interested on the front end of getting it right so that we help find those care environments that really do fit the need, but then we measure that. So we're looking for those health outcomes that tell us, okay, this particular care community was able to meet the care needs of this individual for the long term or not. And we learn a lot by having that close relationship with not only our clients, but also the care providers. So that we are a good partner all the way around in making sure that we do get this right. 'Cause you know, when you think about value-based care and you think about this whole care continuum for our seniors that start unfortunately many times with an event where they end up in the hospital, then we want to make sure that we're helping to connect to the right care level so that we stop this sort of revolving door of seniors that just find themselves back in either EDs or in hospitalizations way too often.

Yeah, you really do provide such a valuable service to families, not from the day they walk in your door until whenever they need you.

Yeah. Just to add one other quick thought to that too, what makes this challenging, and this is a conversation we have with our referral partners a lot, is unlike most any other, I won't say all, but most other care needs and services that our health system provides, they're usually insurance based, right? So there's something that our insurance will cover. And this makes it a really difficult puzzle to piece together for families when you've got an individual who really should not go home and needs care, but there's this financial burden that goes alongside this decision.

And so we have to be really good at understanding our market and knowing this cost range and where can we find quality care that meets this individual's care needs at a price point that they can afford. And that can become a really difficult puzzle to put together. Yeah. And it is really sad that we live in a society where the care you get is based off of what you can pay for it, right? But it is nice to know that you're able to find solutions and ways to work into a lot of financial situations. And so people who are listening are like, I don't think I can afford that. Can they still give you a call and at least have the conversation and get some direction from you?

Yeah, we work — we don't draw any lines on who we help. And, you know, we make it our business to understand what supplemental services and benefits could be available to our clients. And so understanding the Medicaid system and understanding how to qualify and walking individuals through that process so that they don't miss opportunities, VA benefits, Medicaid as we see it. And then just understanding — there's varying prices amongst communities. And we remind folks, it's not the paint colors and the chandeliers that provide the care. You know, it's the people and, you know, safety, of course, is paramount. And as long as we can have confidence from a survey standpoint that these communities are meeting the requirements that they say they're going to provide in terms of their state requirements, we're in and out of the buildings. We have confidence in what we see in terms of the experience that clients have there. We've got some phenomenal — you know, our caregivers have such a heart in this community.

And it's not about all the pretties, you know, it really is about who's providing the care. And that again comes back to having a local provider there, somebody there to hold your hand will really change how this whole experience that is very difficult unfolds. And I know families are very lucky to have you and your husband. So anyone else who's listening, can you tell them where to find you and exactly where you're located so those listening can reach out?

Yeah, absolutely. So we are CarePatrol of Winston-Salem, North Carolina, which covers Forsyth — you're from this area — that's Forsyth, Stokes, Surry, and Yadkin County. And I'm sure if your listeners have listened to other podcasts, maybe they know we do have CarePatrol coverage across the state of North Carolina. While we just cover Forsyth, Stokes, Surry, and Yadkin, we have neighbors all around us and we partner and help families that might be moving loved ones from one end of the state to the other or one end of the country to the other. We can certainly do that. For us, our main — I guess I can give our number out, Lindsay, is that okay on this?

Absolutely. And we'll put everything down below as well.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So our main office number is 844-218-2273. And then also you can visit our website, which is carepatrol.com forward slash Winston-Salem. And would love for you to go out and check out our testimonials and our team. I've got a phenomenal team of three other individuals — of course, my husband and I, but then we have two other care advisors and a marketing and business development specialist. And, you know, I'm so proud of the heart that we have for this community. We all live here. This is home for us. And, you know, it's this professional sense of gratification that we get, but it's also a sense of giving back to a community that we live and breathe in every day. And that's special.

No, it really is wonderful. And thank you so much for being on the show today.

And until next time, we hope everyone stays well and we'll see you next time.

Thanks, Lindsay.

All right, that's a wrap for today. Until next time, remember, you're not alone. Take things one step at a time, stay centered, and trust your compass. See you next time on LTCareNav's Care Compass.