Bryan Walley: The Conversation You Can Have at the Kitchen Table or the Courthouse | Full Episode Transcript

Planning well is an act of love for everybody else. When caregiving feels overwhelming and the system feels impossible to navigate, this is your guide. Here, you'll learn ways to navigate long-term care planning, find real support for caregiving, and prepare you for the road ahead. I'm your host, Lindsay Friedman, and now you're not in this alone. Let's get started. Hello and welcome back to another episode of LT Care Nav's The Care Compass. I'm your host, Lindsay Friedman.

And today we're here with Brian Wally of Forward Inheritance, who is actually a co-host on another show that we do with Mike Banner, who's like the greatest Superman in the entire world. If you don't know that, check the other links below to see him. True story. True story. And we are, I will just say, unbelievably dynamic trio, if I do say so myself. Odvi. Obvi. Obviously. But so

But because my audience does not know you as well as our other audience, can you tell everybody who you are, what you do, and why you do it? Absolutely. So thank you so very much for having me. Truly an honor, Lindsay. It's fun to do a one-on-one show after all of our group shows. So this is great. I am the co-founder and CEO of Forward Inheritance, and that is an online software solution that is meant to help families for decades and generations.

And so how do we do that? First things first is we want to help families run the business of their family like a business. And I say it that way because where are the operating agreements of the family? Mom and dad, where's the will? Where's the trust? If you have one, great. Let's secure it, let's store it, let's appropriately share it. It's mom and dad's document. They choose who sees it and who doesn't, and share it not only with the beneficiaries, but with the wealth manager, with your tax accountant, with your

a state attorney with the professionals that help you run the business of your family. Not only do we, but it's not just the will and the trust. Where's the power of attorney for medical decisions? Power of attorney for financial decisions. Where's the life insurance policy? Where's the homeowner's policy? Where are the tax returns? Right? The operating agreements of the family. So we help organize all of those in a secure manner. and then we account for all the assets and liabilities of the family. I am not your wealth manager.

They will do a Monte Carlo simulation on your portfolio and do all those things. What I care more about is all right, where are the bank accounts? But also, what about the family home? What about the small business that mom and dad have been running that got everybody to here, right? And and created the estate. Let's take a picture of the art. Let's take a picture of the jewelry. Let's take a picture of the cars. What about the RVs and the boats and the second property? And is it an Airbnb property? Does it bring in income?

These are all interesting questions. And then the liabilities. Sure, the mortgages, the credit cards, the home equity investments. What about the interfamily loans? What about the interfamily transfers? Was it a gift? Was it a loan? Is it being forgiven? Was there interest? Let's document these things so that the estate plan is well known and well shared with the family so we have less family issues going forward. And siblings are not suing each other over money they didn't earn.

So we are platformed to organize and optimize your family's estate for decades. We also have an internal marketplace that we lovingly call the neighborhood, and think of it as Costco for your estate. if you need long-term care, you can find our friend Lindsay Friedman inside our neighborhood because we help families and everything is, I'm just gonna say five percent off so that the family's getting a deal, the caregivers, the wealth managers, the 529 plans, the 1031 exchange company, the

you know, just all of the different Costco, all the things you need for your estate, it will be there for you so that you can help your family move forward. in a nutshell, Lindsay, that is what we do. that is who I am, and it's an honor to be here. No, and it is so amazing what you do. And actually, I think you are like the king of amazing slogans and in like sayings. And the one from there that I think is really important is like.

How do you keep families from arguing over money they didn't earn? Yeah. I it unfortunately, we've all seen a train wreck of this ill. We've all seen it probably within our own families, and if not, certainly within our friends' families, where relationships are ruined. Right. I mean, and and and people and it's because of false expectations, right? It's let's just assume it's not malicious. It's probably because so-and-so said 20 years ago that I get that pinging. It's like, well, do you? Like,

You know what I mean? Like legally, is that true? So we can make sure that A, the plan actually reflects reality, but B, we will actually help the family run an annual board meeting for lack of a better term. We'll have a template agenda, we'll have their data inside of it, we'll make sure that the right family members are invited so that everybody knows the plan. Because when you know the plan, you don't fight about the answers anymore, right? You just help ensure that we are making more money for the family and increasing the family wealth with.

Better family communications, more harmony. And I think that's well, it's the nobility of what we do. And it's it's just it's fun and it's an honor. And and it is, it's so important because most people don't even realize the intricacies you just named off. Like, I think you just naming 20 some different items that families have just probably sitting around or they don't even know that they need or where to find them. So for a family coming to your platform.

What is step one so it isn't overwhelming? Sure. So first of all, it is a lot. And we do not expect this to be done in one day or in one sitting. We expect this to take weeks, months, quarters, years. And that's okay, a couple years. We have stewardship journeys to help. So to answer your question specifically, the first things we're gonna do are like the fundamental three to four to five things that every family needs. Where's the will? Upload it here. If you don't have it, we'll help you go get one. Where are the bank accounts?

Link them here, right? That's via quilt. It's a well-known call it. We do this on the internet all the time, and systems do this all the time, so it's secure. Three, what's the real estate? Like, give me the address of the family home so we can make sure the family home is protected. And four, share it with somebody. That could be your spouse, that could be your siblings, that could be your wealth manager or your state attorney. You've done those fundamentals. That's probably gonna cover, you know, a majority of the needs, and then we can get fancy over time.

Hey, you need a revocable truck. Okay, let's help you with this specific thing. Or you need long term care. Let's help you do that. So let's get the foundations done within the first call it 30 to 60 days, and then we can work out, you know, stewardship journeys to help that family optimize its estate over time. Yeah. And I think it is breaking it up for people to make it bite size. Cause just like in my world, like the idea of a long term care plan, there's so much that goes into it.

And it is so overwhelming for people. So being able to make that bite size is so important. Lindsay, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. That's how we do this, right? So just help the family, like help the family help itself at the end of the day, right? And doing so in a systematic, kind, loving, caring, and financially responsible way. That's really what we're trying to do here.

And making sure that they don't f not finish their elephant, right? Like we don't want no leftovers here. We want to make we want everyone to make all gone and get through the whole thing. It's because leftovers go to the government and who likes that? Like, does anyone want the probate courts and the government to be taking our family wealth? 'Cause like I don't. And there are you know, Lindsay, there are twelve million families about to give one to five million dollars of estates down to the next generation. And I think a million dollars is worth protecting. I think most American families don't think they're wealthy enough.

But man, they're wealthy enough. We need to protect this if we're gonna have the great wealth transfer. Because if not, we're gonna have the great probate. And I was actually just gonna pull that one out of you of you talking about the great probate. And what does that mean for families? Because I think the putting it off, the day you get slammed with it when it's not done, what does that look like? Yeah. So if you don't have a will, technically, legally, you do. It's called the state government you live in. That state government will take your the

Probate needs to exist. It is a valuable function. Like let's not, let's be very clear. Probate needs to exist. So if an if a human passes away and there is no will, there's no clear call it direction of where these assets are supposed to go, the state appropriately says, all right, we'll hold them for you. And then when all of the people who have a claim on these assets, they need to come and prove that, you know, they have a claim on these assets. Well, that's like going to the DMV for years to prove that that was your family home.

That was your father's bank account, that that was your mother's investment account. Like years. You will destroy look 20, 30, 50, 60% of the value of whatever the state took, as well as spend years fighting with the state to prove that that was your family asset. So you don't have to have a will. Good luck with that. Like good luck with that process. It ain't fun. No, not at all. And all those things you thought you had.

gonna be gone. And even for the people who are like, I've talked to people who are like, I don't like my kids anyway. Like I don't really care what happens. Okay, so if you don't care what happens, like do you want it to go to the government or you want it to go to something you do care about? Because there is something you care about, even if it's like dog. Send it to the local zoo. I don't care, right? Give it to the I you know what I mean? Give it to a cause that you care about. Send it to your church or to your favorite nonprofit. Great. By the way, if you don't have a great relationship with your kids, first question is

Why? Let's c can we work on that? I'm just gonna say those words. If you don't want to help your children in the next generation, the next question is why? What have you done? What have they done? Et cetera. That's just an interesting family psychological color conversation that needs to happen. But to your point, Lindsay, hey, if you want to be selfish with their money, be selfish with your money and only give to causes you care about. You still need to organize it so that becomes true. Because if not, it's just gonna go to the tax man, the probate courts, and the lawyers. And like gross.

Yeah, nobody wants that. We don't want to do that while we're alive. Why do we want to give it all away there to when we're when we're not We are a country that used to throw tea in the bay. None of us like taxes. Come on now. Let's all remember that we're Americans. Yeah. So for all of you listening, are I don't even care about anyone. You you don't you the tea in the bay that thing, right? We don't want to give it to the government or any range. And if you do, do it in a strategic way. So it's exact going exactly where you want it to go. That's right. If you're gonna be selfish, be shockingly selfish. Just

Make sure it goes where you want it to go. Build a statue of yourself and your property paid in taxes. Just a massive ego. That's all it is. Just a massive ego statue. Sorry. but we have options and they all come with a plan. They all it is not just leaving things be. That's right. And look, failing to failing to plan, right? We all kind of know where that goes. I would submit that family planning like this is actually an act of love. And there are

When I when I had this conversation with my family, and my father specifically, Lindsay, it was he he looked at me and was like, I don't like facing my own mortality. I don't I don't want to do that. And I was like, Cops, I get it. Like I really do. You know, even if you don't like gravity, it's coming for you. So like let's all be clear that the sun is gonna rise in the east and set in the west. You will pass away one day, right? Fine. So what we need to be able to do is ensure that we are

That we are taking care of ourselves and doing a little bit of planning now because that is an act of love for our beneficiaries, for our families, for our friends, for everyone that we leave behind. Planning well is an act of love for everybody else. And so maybe that's the evil part that we should be, you know, pulling on the heartstrings of let's take care of the people you've been taking care of for decades. Don't trip at the finish line, you know. And and this is legacy. This is beyond assets and all this. This is legacy. This is how the

The mess you leave your family is what they're gonna remember. So even if you don't have the assets, even if you don't have a lot of money to give down, this is a legacy of planning and simplicity that you're gonna leave for your family after you're gone of what those final days after and the next following months are gonna look like. You you're exactly right. We we say often that it's not about the money. And like let's be very clear, this is about the mud. Cool. But it's not about the money. It's about the planning, the paperwork and the process.

So that the next generation and your family and your friends have a more harmonious, calm, loving experience of saying, Gosh, couldn't we all just be like Uncle Bob who planned so well and is you know what I mean? Like, like be the example. I want families to like I want individuals to be the example of their family about how they took care of everybody even after they've left the room. That would be a beautiful statement. Yeah.

And w and if you're not doing that, what you're gonna leave when you leave the room is up to some families are spending five, six hundred hours cleaning up a mess. Years. It will take years to clean up a unplanned estate. especially with and the thing is, we're all wealthier than we th this generation has more the greatest generation has the greatest wealth transfer in human history, you know, all these phrases. It's because home values have gone up.

asset prices have gone up, stock portfolios have gone up, right? What used to be, call it maybe not a big deal, is now a million dollars or two million dollars. I'm like, that matters. That read that will dramatically change grandchildren's lives and call it our generation's lives. And so how are we helping? Right? Leave it better than you found it. play in a chord, like be the adult, you know? Help, help. it's kind of I'm toying at heartstrings I'm pulling. I liked your word legacy. That's

That's really what we'd like is can you leave a legacy of a well loved, well planned, well orchestrated, well taken care of, well cared for family. That's the goal. Yeah. And I mean, and you and I are targeting it from like different aspects because they both need to be if you don't take care of your long term care planning, all those assets are going to be gone anyway. So how do you work to make sure that you have the assets to to clean up for you? Yeah, spot on. And it is supposed to be a buffet of options.

Right. And there will be situations where it's like, no, no, the answer is long term care. Great news. The the only question is, you know, how much from who? You know what I mean? But like, no, no, no, this is the answer. Fine. Just like if you got a chunk of change, the answer is, hey, you need to go to a wealth manager and you need to invest this properly, and et cetera. So it it comes down to how are we how are we ensuring that the family knows that they need the help they need. Right. So we can at Ford Inheritance, we can surface a situation, say,

it's probable that in three years you're going to need long term care for mom and dad. And here's why. And we can say, would you like to talk to Lindsay and her friends now? And so that is how our peanut butter and chocolate helps the whole buffet and dessert of estate planning taste better for the family. Fine. That was a cool. Yeah. I like dessert analogies. I'm like, I live for dessert. Like I dr I've t I I dream about dessert. So like that was a beautiful analogy.

And you and I kind of like you have your neighborhood, and I'm so honored and privileged to be part of your neighborhood, but we have our provider network. And so we for our families have you built into our network. So families same way get discounts for what you're doing. So for any families listening who are coming to us through our network, there is a discount when when you're an El Tacara now family for forward inheritance.

It is because we it is an honor to serve the families together. And when we serve the families together, we can do these kind of I'll say bundle pricings and discounts and whatnot because it's the good, it's the right thing for the family. So let's help, right? One of the one of the cool things that I love about this space, Lindsay, you know, we've all had varied careers and varied industries that have their own dynamics. What I love about this space is because all of us have lost somebody.

We all kind of come in with a little bit of empathy and a little bit of understanding and a little bit of like, this is hard on everybody. So we just help. We're just like, we we can do this together. We can help. And it is it's a really I I don't want to lose that magic, right? As this conversation gets bigger and bigger nationally. You know what I mean? I think that that essence needs to be the leading kernel of truth for for how we go forward, you know.

I and I totally agree with you. But that's where my first few questions come from is like that why piece, like why do you do this? most of the professionals I know, and all of the ones that I we know we brought into our network and you've brought onto your neighborhood. I can tell listeners everybody has a why that is so personal and so meaningful. And we are bringing our meaning to the work we're doing.

And I know that you're doing that. Plus, you are amazingly fun to talk to with your little one liners. So anyone who needs to reach out, I don't know if you can give them his phone. Like if you'll get to you, but it is fantastically fun to talk to. And you're DMs are open. Let's go. I'll I'll talk to anybody. No, it's that's kind of you. It's kinda it's kind of you. Yeah, you look, my mother passed away in ninety-eight, right? And my father did a whole bunch of planning back then and and really helped keep our family together as a human.

And did everything right financially. And I'm so grateful for that. And then it was a few years ago, Lindsay, where I had to look my dad in the eye. There was enough jazz happening in his life where I had to look him in the eye and be Pops, where's the will? And he's like, It's fine, but I'm like, Hey, we'll well pass the it's fine time. Him and the ducks. And then I was like, God, I'm in charge. Like, gosh. Right. And I have three beautiful sisters and we all get along and you know, we love each other, and that's amazing. And that

If we didn't, it'd just be harder. So I'm just saying I'm super grateful for that as well. And then I was like, well, well, where's the system for the family? Right? I could store all this stuff on my Google Docs, but like that's not where I should be storing my father's will. I don't think that's fair to my sisters. I don't think that's the right thing for the family. And that's where Ford Inheritance came out of was just a we needed this for ourselves. And so record number one, family number one on the system, right here. Me, our family. That's why we're doing what we do. That's why I wake up every day.

That's why the team wakes up every day and just says, How do we help? And we just try to go figure that out every day. Yeah. It's so important. And I think I want to touch on one more thing before we wrap is those conversations are really hard. Even with your fat you with your father, I know it was hard for you. I know I've said that my parents sometimes look at me like I've got four heads and they're like, we don't care what you say.

Even though I do this all day. So, how do families who aren't so inundated in this this whole industry, how do they start having these conversations to make it so this adult child can go, I have this place that'll be really meaningful for us to put your documents? How do they even open that conversation? Yeah, we we actually have PDFs and blog posts and whatnot. So a whole host of conversation starters to have with their parents that has nothing to do with greed or money. Things like,

because I just had my second child, I had to go update my life insurance policy. Mom and dad, we're shores.

Of course, eventually that's about money, but that is this is happening in my life. What's happening in your life? Or hey, I just switched doctors. Who who's your primary care physician? I'm super curious about that. Right? That is a very non-threatening way to start understanding and just just asking I just asking your parents about like kind of the details of their estate. And then when they get more and more comfortable, you can start asking magic questions. Magic questions like, where do you want to live in five to ten years?

What is what is it? What does Tuesday look like ten years from now for you? What's the goal? What are we doing? Brad, are you still fly fishing? Are you playing golf? Are you on a beach somewhere in Laguna? Like what what do we do it? Right? So let's if we understand where mom and dad want to go, then we can figure out how we're gonna get in there. But if we don't know where they want to go, how do we know? it is arrogant for me to assume I know where my father should live. My father should tell me where my father wants to live.

And then let's all make sure we kick can we pull it off? And then how can we pull it off? Those I think are the loving questions. And none of that was about how much is my cut of the estate? Right? Those are just loving questions that are carrying, honest, good, necessary questions. Because not asking them doesn't help. And I'm hoping that that with all of the work that so many beautiful people that you and I have brought on to our shows and

brought on to 62 who knew that we are going to be able to make this moment where saying, Mom, Dad, what do you want? It where do you want to live is the same thing as like, what do you want for dinner? It's like that unloaded of a question and we just say it. Look, we can have this conversation at a kitchen table, we can have it in a courtroom, or we can have it in the funeral room. Like, let's take our peck here because it's going to happen. The only question we have is where do we want this family conversation to happen? I would submit

having it over the kitchen table, making it a regular part of the conversation of the family, making it quarterly, annual, weekly. What are we having for dinner? Where do you want to live in 10 years? Making it that regular and routine is how we know we stay on the path of making sure that they can ride off into the sunset. They are the founders of Feast. Let's let them do what they want to do. Let's let them do what they want to do. Right. and because of that, then we can all plan accordingly as well.

Right in the sandwich generation and make sure that there is a good foundation for the next generation so that they can move their lives forward as well. Wow. So important, so wonderful having you on my show. Can't wait to be on yours. I know. This is gonna be awesome. And if you liked it, you can go to sixty two who knew and you can see us all over the place. Those are fun. This is been

This has been an absolute joy, Lindsay. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the opportunity. It is so wonderful to partner with you. It's so lovely to learn from you. I appreciate you. And the feelings are so mutual. So for everyone listening, thank you so much for joining in today. And I will make sure you have all your info on Forward Inheritance. And until next time, we will hope be well. All right. That's a wrap for today. Until next time, remember, you're not alone.

Take things one step at a time, stay centered, and trust your compass. See you next time on LT Care Nav's Care Compass.